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A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief....Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed 
Cats are smarter than dogs, you'll never see 8 cats pulling some dumb a$$ through the snow!!
"I don't always drink milk, but when I do, I prefer Dos Chi Chis." hahaha Stay Thirsty my friends.
Lazy fact #254946156, You were too lazy to read that number
..... Now America will find out just how affordable the Affordable "Free" Healthcare really is! ....... BTW ... there is a price that will be paid for it!.... And it is not free.
Good thing my car has cruise control because I'm feeling pretty sleepy.
The transition from woman to cougar happens when you go from Marlboro Lights to Virginia Slims.
If you have a hunting license,, it's TOTALLY legal to shoot cars with antlers on them.
after being ignored for 3 months, I've finally taken the hint!
There's a reason why "sober" and "so bored" sound almost exactly the same
Maybe if women would quit playing games they'd worry less about competition.
"went from being single" to "being single like a boss".
Fun fact: the male eye has an ability to slow actual time when a titty pops out within it's sight. It's science.
Whoever coined the phrase "you don't know what you got till its gone" was talking about toilet paper, probably
We get it, you're a proud lesbian. Nice haircut.
I can tell people are judgemental just by looking at them...
I think homeless people would have more money for food if they didn't spend it all on black markers, cardboard signs and collection cups.....
Q: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The Rooster...
Eating Taco Bell for the 5th night in a row... BTW, your colon grows back right?
To err is human. To arr is pirate. 