Funny Status Messages

   Why does it take less than a minute to pay online and more than 10 days for the refund ??

   The Walk Of Shame: When you toss a paper ball in the trash, miss, then have to go get it.

   I'm like a mosquito in a nudist camp; I know what to do, but I don't know where to start

   the difference between your mind and heart; your mind tells you what the smart thing is to do.. and your heart tells you what you're gonna do anyway.

   I grew up with six sisters. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

   Captains log,Stardate 3.1415926535 I seem to have a strange urge for Pie today

   When two meth addicts go out, is it considered speed dating?

   My 2011 New Years Resolution is to hangout with more than 2 of my facebook friends.

   you never realize how annoying people are until you add them on facebook :)

   confused.His left part of his brain has nothing right in it and the right part of his brain has nothing left in it

   wants to know how MTV can have the VMA's? They don't even play videos anymore!

   I wonder if the CEO of Classmates.com cries every time he sees the word "Facebook."

   When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

   If you can read this, chances are you won't be recieving a gift from me this Christmas. Happy Holidays!

   Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

   $3.88 until my Visa is maxed out. I'm struggling between the #4 at Burger King or shampoo.

   It's not that I'm immature, it's just that you started it.

   I hate it when someone text me to call them, then when you call they never answer

   Okay... If we get caught, pretend we don't speak English!

   Madonna and Johnny Depp seem completely unaware they aren't British