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Snotty Funny Status Messages
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For as little as $1 a day,,,, You can feed a family of 5 ducks chunks of bread down at your local pond.
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06-10-2012 20:16 by
snotty
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Hey guys, let's start a Ninja Club. First rule of Ninja Club is....wait, where the heck did everybody go?
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06-10-2012 22:45 by
snotty
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So sad that out of 200 countries in this world,, America ranks 35th in the world in math... But at least that keeps us still in the top 10%
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06-12-2012 09:05 by
snotty
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When you open your heart to someone, there is blood...... LOTS and LOTS of blood... And then you die. So don't open your heart.
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06-12-2012 19:52 by
snotty
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Tip: To avoid butterflies in your stomach,,, don't eat caterpillars.
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06-12-2012 19:54 by
snotty
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This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
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06-12-2012 23:27 by
snotty
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Can someone please update my Facebook status for me. I had ravioli for dinner.
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06-12-2012 23:32 by
snotty
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STOP holding secret meetings about my paranoia!
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06-13-2012 15:48 by
snotty
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Too many herbs have effd up my omelet.... If only I could turn back thyme...
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06-15-2012 17:32 by
snotty
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The world world be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes
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06-15-2012 18:23 by
snotty
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Honey-girl,,,,, your skirt is so short ,,,, your STD's are showing
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06-15-2012 18:26 by
snotty
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Most Americans are overweight according to a study done by my eyeballs.
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06-15-2012 18:31 by
snotty
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OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can't stop calling the addiction hotline....
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06-18-2012 12:37 by
snotty
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In the year is 2024.. Justin Bieber's cover of Mambo #5 has topped the charts for the past 10 years and has been declared the National Anthem.
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06-18-2012 12:41 by
snotty
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I Always carry $40,000 cash on me at all times,, You know,, in case I ever feel like getting a sandwich while I'm in the airport.
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06-19-2012 07:49 by
snotty
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It's been a while,,,,, Has Bono EVER found,,,, What he's looking for?
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06-19-2012 07:54 by
snotty
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My Cunning plan: 1. Go to the elephant house in the zoo... 2. Shout IS NOBODY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM?.. 3. Elephant high-five
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06-19-2012 13:58 by
snotty
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If I ever go missing,,, I hope they put my photo on bottles of OCD medication, cuz you know those people won't stop looking.
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06-20-2012 21:36 by
snotty
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HEY,, I've only have 26 letters to work with.... Don't expect miracles.
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06-22-2012 21:39 by
snotty
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If I could be a superhero, I'd be Aluminum Man... My superpower would be foiling crime
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06-22-2012 21:41 by
snotty
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