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I feel like tap dancing… on someone's face with golf shoes on 
Now listen carefully 007, This may look like a normal Blackberry. But it's one that actually works.
The only way to kill a mime is to shoot it with blanks.
"When you put a Sea-shell up to your ear, you can hear the ocean" ..... Duh! Hey Dumb a$$, why don't you drop the shell that you just picked up off the beach and turn around? *tada* there's the ocean......Shhhhhhhh.......now listen.
Its a pity Gadhafi died without revealing' where he bought all those cool sunglasses....smh
You know your ass is ugly when you're the one always asked to take the photo
My hometown is great for sightseeing if you want to see the People of Walmart in their natural habitat.
I'll never forget what you did to me, but I'll never let you know I remember.
I'm gonna try setting up Occupy Wall Street signs at the local theater in hopes that police will arrest all the Twilight nuts camping out...
if love is blind, then letting go is like taking off the blindfold.
If I give you a straw, will you go suck the fun outta someone elses life?!
won't be able to spend Valentine's Day with the love of his life who keeps him warm, cosy and protected!!! I'm sorry bed but I'll be cheating on you with that b^tçh mistress of mine I call work.
Blow Pops.. teaching girls important life skills since 1973.
I don't like war either but let's all admit that peace has way fewer cool explosions.
would it kill em to put a freakin superball in the lucky charms box?
thinks my three “uh huhs” in a row should prove that I haven't heard a word you said!
What do you give the man that has everything?'' ''Normally the middle finger, sometimes both...
Christmas is a good time to realize that not all your family are relatives, and not all your relatives are family.
Screw a designated driver. I need a designated liver.
I love reading Facebook drama, people go so hard behind that keyboard! 