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   messageicon If you're feeling bored, find a group photo of four girls on instagram and then comment "you three look great!" Wait and grab popcorn.
←Rate | 05-24-2014 12:31 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at hello...oh you weren't talking to me.
←Rate | 09-28-2014 13:58 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only people mad at you for speaking the TRUTH are the ones living a LIE.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 22:52 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love Halloween because it's the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
←Rate | 10-30-2011 09:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'll know I'm your "Secret Santa" when you dont get anything!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:13 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now it's too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
←Rate | 06-16-2016 01:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon : Everytime I hear the dirty word "excercise", I wash my mouth with chocolate.....
←Rate | 02-05-2010 11:32 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number one thing I learned on xbox live is, a lot of 12 year olds have slept with my mom.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders how I can remember lyrics to a song I haven't heard since 1986. But can't, even for a million bucks; remember why I'm just standing in the middle of the kitchen
←Rate | 04-23-2011 07:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber has grown a mustache. His transformation into a teenage mexican girl is now complete.
←Rate | 09-17-2013 02:28 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon discovered that answering the door naked helps deter trick or treaters. Here we go again, here's 2 dressed as policemen.....
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:50 by ryanb741 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
←Rate | 12-05-2011 08:59 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally used AOL.com to search for something today. I feel like everyone who works there probably high-fived each other and got really hopeful about the future.
←Rate | 04-18-2012 21:14 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those 50 workers that stayed and are trying to stop full nuclear meltdown at the reactor in Japan are super heroes or the last of the Kamikaze's as far as I'm concerned...God Speed!!
←Rate | 03-15-2011 06:28 by Bill Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women and children first because men deserve a little quiet time before the ship sinks.
←Rate | 12-03-2014 00:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It has been brought to my attention that the stick figure decals on the back windows of vehicles are NOT pedestrian "kill" scores, but, actually are meant to represent members of your family. I'll be removing mine asap to avoid any further confusion
←Rate | 03-07-2012 22:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never been skydiving,, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 09:16 by Aaron Comments (2)  


   messageicon When people go underwater during movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation. I died at Finding Nemo.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 21:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum; it's either her or the Facebook. So sadly, this will be my last st@tus update, in which I talk about having a girlfriend.
←Rate | 11-28-2011 13:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on.
←Rate | 01-20-2014 20:26 by flipphonescott Comments (1)  



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