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snotty Funny Status Messages
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Dear Girl Scouts, Your Mints did not make me Thin...... P.S.... Please send more.
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02-19-2016 22:15 by
Snotty
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Well, I learned this week that ya don't buy your Parmesan at the Dollar Tree.
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02-19-2016 22:12 by
Snotty
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My preschooler talks a lot of trash when we play Chutes and Ladders for someone who needs help counting his spaces.
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02-18-2016 08:18 by
Snotty
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The letter "S" in PMS stands for Satan... I'm pretty sure of this.
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02-17-2016 19:04 by
Snotty
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Surprise your buddy by putting on clown makeup and dying in his attic.
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02-17-2016 19:02 by
Snotty
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I'd like to feel as happy as an adult,, as I felt as a kid when the teacher wheeled in the tv during class
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02-17-2016 08:42 by
Snotty
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Not to brag, but I pull the correct ceiling fan chain about 2% of the time.
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02-15-2016 15:03 by
Snotty
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Do country music artists know about better music?
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02-13-2016 17:08 by
Snotty
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"My best years are still ahead of me," I say as I walk slowly up the stairs, knees crackling like a campfire.
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02-13-2016 11:12 by
Snotty
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I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.
39
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02-13-2016 11:11 by
Snotty
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I accidentally started this account when I was looking for a banana bread recipe and things have gone horribly wrong.
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02-13-2016 11:11 by
Snotty
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Welcome to the first meeting of OCD Anonymous. We'll get started as soon as you STOP TURNING THE LIGHTS ON AND OFF, SUSAN!!
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02-13-2016 11:09 by
Snotty
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SON: There's a monster under my bed... ME: That's monsters' name is Mark, he lives there now... SON: Wha????... ME: times are tough, we need the cash... MARK: I'm trying to sleep
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02-12-2016 18:47 by
Snotty
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My engine brings all the mechanics to the yard,,, and I'm like, You better fix cars...
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02-12-2016 17:26 by
snotty
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"PLAY FREE BIRD!" -Me, drunk, at the Symphony
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02-10-2016 20:58 by
snotty
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My super power is making conversations awkward by constantly adjusting my nuts while you talk.
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02-10-2016 19:38 by
snotty
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Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
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02-09-2016 15:32 by
snotty
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Opening a yoga studio just for dogs called NamaSit&Stay.... *Self,,,,Prepare to be rich
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02-09-2016 10:50 by
snotty
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Relationship status: Looking for a good woman to stand up to my mom for me.
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02-09-2016 10:42 by
snotty
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They say men think about sex every 7 seconds, so when I eat a hotdog I try to finish it in 6 seconds so it doesn’t get awkward.
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02-06-2016 07:32 by
snotty
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