Snotty Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon When Spock mind melds with Kirk they're collectively known as Spork.
←Rate | 05-18-2017 15:17 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you're not blowing chunks of wedding cake out of your nose for 3 days after the wedding, ,, are you even technically married?
←Rate | 05-18-2017 15:12 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon I was in a band called Click Bait. You won't believe the kind of music we recorded... Track number 5 will blow your mind.
←Rate | 05-15-2017 18:20 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steve Miller.. "Some call me the gangster of love"..... Steve Miller`so band... "Ummm, yeah,,, Nobody calls him that"....
←Rate | 05-14-2017 03:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want to seem like a snob,,, but I was the only one to not use a coupon for our Mothers day lunch..
←Rate | 05-14-2017 03:43 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon From a purely ironical perspective,,, He's going to actually walk onto 5th Ave and shoot somebody before this actually ends,,, right?
←Rate | 05-14-2017 03:35 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home, ,, The more homeless I look.
←Rate | 05-14-2017 03:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon In order to reconnect with my conspiracy theory family, ,, I've joined 20 "flat-earth" groups on Facebook
←Rate | 05-14-2017 03:21 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm beginning to think the Romans were lucky,,,,, At least Nero could play an instrument. .
←Rate | 05-14-2017 03:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish they would stop making things out of unicorns, , those things are already almost extinct
←Rate | 05-10-2017 07:34 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need one of you to stand up at my funeral and ask for his toaster back... thanks in advance
←Rate | 05-09-2017 08:00 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could have dinner with anyone, alive and dead, no question,,, I would want it to be Schrödinger's cat
←Rate | 05-01-2017 02:06 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
←Rate | 04-22-2017 19:02 by snotty Comments (11)  


   messageicon UNITED: We love to fight,,, and it shows. ..
←Rate | 04-14-2017 09:44 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tyler Durden: The first rule of Flight Club is: You do not talk about Flight Club.
←Rate | 04-14-2017 06:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon well,, of course Sea Salt is better than regular salt cuz,, you know, ,,,, fish poop
←Rate | 03-29-2017 02:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon In light of recent news regarding 'A day without a woman' men everywhere a grateful just to have peace & quiet from a nagging mother-in-law
←Rate | 02-18-2017 22:28 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever came up with the slogan Diamonds are Forever, obviously never had herpes.
←Rate | 02-11-2017 21:11 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a woman who didn't get an answer to the question you didn't hear her ask from upstairs
←Rate | 01-22-2017 17:55 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure,, Sure,, I could kill you with kindness,, but let’s see what else is just lying around I can use first.
←Rate | 01-13-2017 15:40 by snotty Comments (2)  



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