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If Satan ever loses his hair, there will be Hell toupee. 
Somewhere In A Ghetto Household A 4 year old is "droppin it" like its hot while the family is clappin & yellin "Go SHANIQUA! Work it girl!"
World Cup fixtures: on Monday Argentina meets Brazil in Cape Town. On Tuesday Spain meets Italy in Johannesburg and on Wednesday England meets France at the AIRPORT !!!
Yo Mamas So Fat She Downloaded Cheats For Wii Fit
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
I Googled "white nfl players arrested" and it came back "Do you mean 'black nfl players arrested'?"
I guess being a rich candidate became an issue sometime after the Kerry/Edwards campaign…
A cop stopped me and asked "Your eyes look red,ma'am. Have you been smoking pot?" I replied "No sir. But your eyes looked glazed. Have you been eating donuts?"
thinks a GPS should just say warm...warmer...no idiot - cold...warmer...hot...ur frickin on FIRE! You have arrived at your destination.
If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged... I would just start yelling out letters!
Ran into her ex today...put it in reverse and got his new girlfriend, too!!! ;)
Ever wonder how that one single black hair got all the way up there on your shower wall?
It's been almost a year, and just for the record, you're STILL lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.
Pregnancy Advice: A stork might bring you a baby, but a swallow never will.
misses the kindergarten days where naps were required, snacks were given, and when a boy pushed you in the sandbox it means "I like you"
How do I give this U2 album back?
When the zombie apocalypse finally starts, I am running straight to the graveyard to play the most epic game of whack-a-mole ever.
I remember back when the media didn't have to invent names like "polar vortex" to tell us that it is cold during winter...
They should invent a snooze button that hits back.
Certain people come into your life as a blessing, others as a lesson and a few as a punishment. 