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   messageicon I feel like I'm watching a tv show called "Lockdown Got Talent" because this lockdown has people thinking they're gym instructors, chefs, dancers, etc...
←Rate | 07-06-2020 19:32 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brooks Brothers just filed for bankruptcy, so now I might never be able to use this $50 gift card on one sock.
←Rate | 07-10-2020 08:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don't even like.
←Rate | 07-16-2020 05:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Discovery Channel - Conspiracies and Myths "Finding The Tooth Fairy" is on...... I hope they find her, she owes me money.
←Rate | 09-15-2010 15:39 by TD Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: You have a horrible memory ... Wife: Well, I guess that's why I still love you.
←Rate | 07-26-2013 02:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?
←Rate | 10-09-2019 06:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know who needs to hear this, but those single unmatched socks that have been on top of your dryer for years have a better chance of finding a mate than you do.
←Rate | 10-10-2019 06:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady stabbed a guy singing Christmas Songs at the Mall. I bailed her out.
←Rate | 10-12-2019 12:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Considering the effort it takes to get into these damn things, I consider them all sports bras.
←Rate | 10-15-2019 04:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s normal for married couples to fight. The trick is for you and your spouse to find a couple you can easily beat up.
←Rate | 10-17-2019 17:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My sister used to date a guy who played professional hockey in Calgary. He's an old Flame.
←Rate | 10-20-2019 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My math teacher called me average. How mean!
←Rate | 10-20-2019 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think Ariel ate the scallops whose shells she wears as a bra or that she just found them? Waiter: I meant any questions about our menu.
←Rate | 10-23-2019 04:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [frantically putting on Victorian era clothes as I bleed out] must... fit in.. with... other ghosts
←Rate | 10-23-2019 04:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I felt a little guilty about not eating any vegetables today then I remembered I ate some Ruffles earlier so I'm good now.
←Rate | 10-23-2019 20:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's been a major recall on Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Bring them to my house so I can dispose of them properly.
←Rate | 10-28-2019 11:23 by DJJackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die I have 2 wishes. #1- Scatter my remains throughout DisneyWorld.... #2- I don’t wanna be cremated
←Rate | 10-30-2019 16:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to ask people what their sign is and then read them a completely different sign's horoscope just to hear them say "that's so me!"
←Rate | 11-03-2019 06:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell the age of an artificial Christmas tree by the lines of duct tape around the box it's stored in.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm 45 and I would still be tickled pink to wake up Christmas morning to a Barbie Dream House with accessories.
←Rate | 12-05-2019 11:12 Comments (0)  



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