Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Only in America - do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front of the store 
just bought a new game for my x box, its about a black man who drives around crashing cars sleeping with hoes and fighting with people, its called tiger woods PGA tour 2010
Whats the difference between Justin Bieber And a Snickers bar? A snIckers bar has nuts.
I would totally vote for Herman Cain but only if he introduces himself at the next debate by singing... ♪♪ Here I am!! Rock you like a Herman Cain!! ♪♪
So the women of facebook are ## weeks and craving ???? . . the # relates to the month they were born, and the craving is the date (secret emails) . supposed to raise awareness for cancer, only this it makes me aware of is how sneaky women are
you know....they say one in every four men are gay....so there must be one in my group of friends.....I hope it's Michael, 'cuz he's super cute....
punched the devil in the face today :D or a kid in a costume, either way that motherfucker learnt not to come to my house asking for lollies :)
I've been dating a homeless women recently, and I think it's getting serious. She asked me to move out with her.
Pringles should make their containers like a Push-Pop
Drop and iphone on the floor: break the screen. Drop an old Nokia on the floor: break the floor
all in all you're just another 'update' in the wall.
Love means sharing your thoughts, your fears, your dreams, your hopes, your pin codes and passwords.
People are so predictable..I bet you're even reading this status right now.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to....unless you're in prison.
Best Relationship: Talk like bestfriends, play like children, argue like husband and wife, protect each other like brother and sister.
Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil
It's scary when the weatherman is the closest one on the news now to telling the truth now.
If Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles had a boy band it would be called "what direction"
I really hope that I don't get another sweater for Christmas. I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer....
Sometimes, you can just tell it's gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day. 