Funny Status Messages

   "Oh, so that's what they meant by Silent Majority!" -------- Hillary Clinton

   Martin L King ... Looted nothing, Burned nothing, Attacked .... NO ONE ....... Yet ... CHANGED THE WORLD. Time for people to wake up ..... It's the mind ... Not the emotions that holds the power.

   The Constitution is Good

   Flat screens are nice and all, but they'll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.

   Look UPS chick, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to always have their pants on.

   If General Mattis runs for president in the next election, will his campaign slogan be "Mad Dog 2020"?

   Why I hate House Hunters. Amy is a housewife works on her art all day, her husband Abe manages a Taco Bell. Abe: Our budget is $4 million

   Looks like the Healthcare bill vote may be delayed so Nancy Pelosi can read it this time

   Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?

   80% of electricity is made from fossil fuels so how are electric cars saving the environment??

   The spread of the coronavirus is based on two factors. 1) How dense the population is. 2) How dense the population is.

   Slutty girls are like Walmarts, everyone makes fun of them but when you're inside one at 4am you think, i'm glad these are here.

   If intelligent people don't start procreating faster than the trash in “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” we're all heading towards a very dismal future. Am I the only one seeing this?

   The gas pedal is my therapist.

   And for all of you who are Telepathic...............

   You want to save a shtiload of money next Black Friday??? Stay Home!!!

   Nothing makes me want to leave a web page more than a popup window saying, "Are you sure you want to leave this page?"

   You know its true love when she makes you wanna stop deleting your browser history.

   As a kid, I thought convention delegates were just sign-waving idiots in silly hats & pins, but as an adult, I see I was a perceptive kid.

   Whatever happened to that little girl from The Ring, did she grow up to be Kristen Stewart?