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All of mankind is descended of a man and a woman who had two sons. Think about that. Take as much time as you need. 
so fine, he's so fine he blows your mind.
Think I'll get a third shot. And no I'm not in a bar.
For some reason, the press seems more concerned with "BIack Man Killed By Police", than "Police KiIIed By BIack Man."
wondering....Do the Fox sponsored "tea party" sheeple understand why we all laugh at them when they call themselves the "teabagers"?
Dad, what is a silver and a bronze medal? Dad: I dunno son, we're canadians.
making friends and influencing people
Obama just announced his NEW plan! He is going to vacation in Martha's Vineyard
Next time Rodman visits his friend KIM in North Korea, just don't let him back into USA. Problem solved.
Just got a text asking if I want to go to church on Sunday. I laughed so hard I choked on my vodka and shot my d ildo across the room.
Subway should have their 6 inch subs on a promotional sale @ 1/2 the cost of the 12inch.. They could have Tupac and Fiftyy cent sing it for them... Tu-Fitty, Tu-Fitty, Tu-Fitty six long!
when I said pull out, I didnt mean shot me in the eye either!
crakalakin
Damn, looks like someone with a small peepee lost his girlfriend to a black dude!
Vegetarians, your boyfriends want to break up with you.
Thinks there are better things in life than alcohol. but alcohol makes up for not having them
Ummm,,, I just tried to make a donation to the "Tourette Syndrome Foundation" in England,,,,, and they told me to Sod off.
My wife is going to get a big surprise when she tries to sleep in tomorrow.... I superglued a thumbtack to the snooze button.
Being dyslexic and online dating can be a big problem. My last date I thought it said nympho maniac. Turns out she was a necro'philic.
Don't you hate when people call your name 20 times..... Then end up saying "NEVERMIND"? Nah, you gonna tell me SOMEthing. 