Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Mirror: “You look cute today”. Camera: “Lol, no”. Instagram filters: “I got chu” 
Somebody died last night, but I didn't, somebody didn't wake up this morning, but I did, I'm not lucky, I'm blessed
"All I want for Chrithmath is my two front teeth.... " - Mike Tyson
You remind me of my chinese friend... Ugg-lee
im gonna take a hot shower its like a normal shower but with me in it
I know I can't be the only one here hitting these ads by mistake trying to go to the next page.
When you turn on a light and the bulb burns out it's because you suck and that bulb would rather kill itself than hang out with you.
Want proof America's getting fatter?? I Almost ran out of gas waiting to make a right turn on a green light. Woman's ass took 5 minutes longer than she did to cross the street..
£1|{3 0h m¥ 90Ð (4n ¥0µ $p34|{ 3n9£1$h
Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!
Wanna know why god invented the womens belly button? So you have a place to put your gum on the way down!
My girlfriend forgot to flush the toilet after taking a really big sh1t. Bad move. "It won't fit" just isn't going to cut it as an excuse anymore.
Can you imagine how much more work women could do Around the house with 4 arms..
bamboozled
OOPS ..there goes my kids all over your face !!
Don't mind seeing a nigg@ with a hideous chubber white girl, but hate it when sh'e's hot.
Unemployment is down, deficit shrinking, home values up, stock market thru the roof…so the right needs to make up some Scandals!!
"A Deficit... really? ... What do you mean we're overdrawn? .. can't be... I have checks left" -- President O'Bama
Why is the FONT so small on Facebook all of the sudden. I see the Republicans have started with their nonsense already.
ell your wife her butt looks big in those jeans. Live a little.. Life is too short! 