Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I think of my whole day as "puttering around before bed". 
Women are like roads. They will take you to new places, they have beautiful curves, and I'm probably going to drive my car onto one soon.
I just booked my Spring Break vacation in North Korea! I can't believe the cheap deal I got!!
Before you ask me to leave, let me just say that some women would be turned on if I went through their underwear drawer.
Another weekend.. another opportunity to ruin a woman for all other men who may follow in her life.
That's all over the second we ride up ... troy's bucket
I see your wallet. And I raise my prices.
The first time I saw you, I thought to myself, "Is that for me?"
So Apple makes the iphone larger, the ipad smaller (ipad mini) why not just switch names on them and call it a day?
At a blood bank, a nurse extracts the blood. Wouldn't it be nice if the nurse at the sperm bank did the extractions too?
Portland Oregon is reported to have the worst air quality of any city in the world right now due to smoke. The question is, though: Is it smoke from forest fires or smoke from building fires?
Cops think they are so cool, driving around in their flashy cars
It's leap day tomorrow. This is God's way of punishing us by having Bernie and Nancy coming out as lovers
I don't get what the big deal is: the entire Republican platform is plagiarized from my uncle's drunken Thanksgiving rants.
Got a white noise machine. Not sure how listening to people talk about GoT and pumpkin spice will help me sleep
She’s not angry...she just doesn’t like you.
This program has been brought to you by Smirnoff Vodka. Smirnoff...soon to be the official drink of the USA.
Satisfied isnt her telling you how great you were afterwards....Satisfied is her being unable too speak afterwards...I Do Work Son!!
okay mother nature, enough with the rain! I get the fact your sad, but you had to realize Joanie and Chachi werent gonna last forever.
how do you turn your dishwasher into a bobcat,,, give your wife a shovel 