Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   GIVE ME A BEET! ~ Hip hop Chef

   Can you be addicted to chaos? Date a Ginger and you'll understand

   The world world be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes

   My girlfriend is pregnant but I have never slept with her. When I asked her how come, she told me some lame story about Joseph & Mary.

   I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity.

   Mondays are Sunday's poop.

   I've never liked race related jokes, probably because I wasn't much of a runner

   It sucks when you have to much month left at the end of your money

   sitting at work prairie doggin' because I don't want to use the company bathroom. I hope I can hold this in for another 5 hours.

   I am not really scared that the world will end on 12/21/2012...I"m just scared of what crazy things people will do on that day.

   I am not allowed to talk to strange punctuations

   Internet Issues: Open a new tab & forget why.

   I need audio of crickets chirping on my phone so I can play after someone I don't like says a bad joke.

   I am such a thoughtful Lad! I bought my ex a chair for Christmas. But the power company won't let me hook it up.

   These girls in my online class are sooo hot hot. ... Oh wait nevermind, that's just internet porn.

   just shot my eye out ..the sights must be off on my Red Ryder B.B. gun!

   undefeated at BattleShip. Mostly because I stack my ships on top of one another.

   Aww man....I hate it when I catch a major headache hours before the countdown to the New Year's. Waking up at 4am....feels like I got thrown in the future....Where am I? What year is it ppl?

   I just had a fart so epic & explosive Michael Bay has agreed to direct the sequels!

   Nothing is sexier than knowing the person you're with can be with anyone they want and they chose you or atleast that is what my wife says.