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You should do this, you should do that...how bout you jus be happy I even listen to your suggestions! 
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Did you hear the one about the woman who was sexually attracted to electronic devices? She blew a fuse.
Sorry homework - - TV wins again! It is just too temping :)
it possible to be still tasting Jager from last night? Somebody call an Excorsist. Blah!
MYTH NUMBER 6.... Liquor Before Beer, Never Fear.
Since being subtle is wasted on the naive...... I WANT A BB GUN FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
According to recent posts... Betty Rubble just got a booty call from Optimus Prime. Barney, you stand no chance. Just walk way.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
In an effort to act my own age, I starting dating woman at 7 years younger than me as opposed to ones my own age.
To err is human,to blame it on someone else is more human..
planning a night she can't remember!
In hindsight,, maybe I shouldn't have kept looking back . . .
Whenever life knocks me down, I just roll over and gaze at the stars!
I have googled "does my dog really love me" more than twice
Hmmmm,,, "I've never been on a blind date before," I proclaimed while being jostled around in an unmarked van with a thick cloth hood over my head.
All I want for Christmas is lots of bubble wrap
Children are like snowflakes. Individually small and ineffective,,, but if we work together we can make my step dad crash his car into a tree.
Sometimes I prefer to use my face for emoticons.
You seem too lazy to file a restraining order. I like you. 