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And The Bro saith unto them, Follow me to the club, and I will make you fishers of women. Bromans 4:19 
never make eye-contact with anyone while eating a banana
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
(̅_̅_̅(̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅(̅_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅l̲̅b̲̅o̲̅r̲̅o̲̅̅ _̅_̅_̅() ڪے one of my weaknesses.
80's rock group Starship shocked after hearing the President's speech to find that they didn't build that city on rock and roll, someone else did.
Women are designed for two things: making babies and making sandwiches, and they need help with the first one.
Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... Ever notice how most womens problems begin with men???
Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's piano? Neither has he.
I like my women like I like my dogs. Obedient, loyal, and always licking ...
I was religious.... right up until about the age of reason.
Arguing on Facebook is like running in the special Olympic, even if you win you are still retarded
The Obamacare website doesn't work, just like most of the people who voted for Obama.
The Definition Of Toilets: The one and only thing Obama is qualified to do, is clean toilets. . .
.menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns... ever notice how most womens probIems begin with men?
god made Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve
"I have a dream" - Martin Luther King jr "I have a drone" - Barrack Hussein Obama
What do you get when you toss a ball into a cage full of monkeys? NBA
Ran into a guy at a bar who said he was a huge rock star back in the '80s I didn't believe but he was adamant.
*ATTENTION* I have a copy of tomorrows newspaper complete with sports scores, police blotters, and other interesting facts!.. I'm selling this for $352.83 a true bargain!! I can deliver the newspaper anytime tomorrow after 9:00 am
When I was at the gym again this morning, I thought to myself "How can I subtly tell everyone that I always go to the gym?" 