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Today is the sixth of September, also known as 6/9. A calendar somewhere must be having fun right now. 
I live in a town named Ripley... believe it or not.
My 3yr old doesn't like onions on his donut! Onions= shredded coconut!
I earned my certification as a freelance gynecologist...now I need a slogan. "No matter the stench...I'll examine the trench" Thoughts?
Hillary Clinton. A modern-day Hood Robin. Robs from the poor to give to herself
˝You cant fire Duck Dynasty Guy - he has freedom of speech!˝ are the same noobs who wanted the Guns & Ammo editor fired for his pro-gun control column column
I LOVE JESUS TOO...he's my mexican lover.
When life hands you women, make women laid
Kobe is about to pass MJ in points scored. He already leads 1-0 in rapes.
Dear Interwebs, You guys go nuts over a stupid dress, and now Spock is dead! This is why we can't have nice things. Stop it, K? Thx.
Tell a woman she looks great 10,000 times, she never remembers, but call her fat just once and she'll never forget it. AmIright? AmIright?
What idiot called it "hitting the snooze button" and not "clock blocking"?
Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex! Now that I have your full attention, its weekend for god's sake, log off and go out there and enjoy your life dammit!
im dying to see the americans plant a C5 up Ghadafi's candy ass and light it with a matchstick and take pics and post it up on facebook and tag me to it so that I can see the pics while feasting on a bag of potato chips
X Why does seaworld have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, 'oh my god... I could be eating a slow learner..'. (had to correct the spelling error from the first post)
Dotn dirnk and update Fistbook statass.
party in my treehouse at 430
Its peanut butter and jelly time. Minus the peanut butter, hold the jelly and with beer.
No one ever seems to realize that when your EX says after you brake up, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you again," basically implies that there is a list and hurting you is on it.
try to say the letter `M` without your lips touching. 