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in the Smokin' Section lookin' for the hot women. Such a deceiving sign, there's none here 
going to see if mars is edible back in 10 thousand years brb
Everything is "Prewritten" & Nothing Can Be "Re-Written"! So,Live the Best & Leave The Rest.......
No, you can't not never ever use quadruple negatives. it's just bad grammer.
The world writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, it's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
- Advice !! Something we seek as long as it`s an answer we wanted in the first place.... Like you want me to reaffirm your choice !!
i'm tired...will you carry me to bed?
's misery likes tequila, not company.
wondering what they are saying behind my back
life is a journey. The bus is just late
right on the verge
watching LOST waiting for my plane to land in Thailand!!!! Just getting some pointers just in case it crashes on a wired island!!
Men are like pennies: two-faced and worthless.
Vegan hipsters wear ironic milk mustaches.
You don't really wash your hands, they actually wash each other while you are there standing
spending Thanksgiving day with your obnoxious relatives something to be thankful for?
A train station is where trains stop. A bus station is where buses stop. At my desk at work I have a work station.
There are four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus 3) You are Santa Claus 4) You look like Santa Claus
If anyone is interested, I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 5 p.m. until security escorts me out the door. 