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That concludes the Time Travelers Club meeting, see you all last month. 
Who needs conspiracy theories when reality is crazy enough lately. .. ugh
I have nothing to update. I'm just making it look like I'm doing something at a party so people won't talk to me.
I'm glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
How to save money this Halloween. Place an empty bowl out with a sign. Please only take one piece of candy.
Based on the amount of laundry I do, I'm pretty sure there are people living here that I haven't met yet...
Three more pension checks and I’ll have my student loan paid off.
A good Scotch should taste like how a haunted 17th century wardrobe smells.
I’m the guy in charge of making the room smell nasty in the Glade commercials.
If it could be arranged, I would like to die by being waterboarded by a soft serve ice cream machine.
The world has indeed changed, I saw two guys put masks on to take a bag of money into a bank.
A pasta maker is just a Play-doh toy for adults.
We haven’t seen the full damage this epidemic will cause, that will happen in about five to seven months with all of the gender reveal parties.
can you believe that 6 months ago we just let random people breathe on us
Got a rash on my face in the shape of a roadrunner. I think I might have acme.
Kids today will never know the horror that would come from seeing a payphone start ringing suddenly in the middle of the night.
No good deed goes unposted on social media.
Be the reason why your local woods are haunted
My dad and I went to a restaurant and the waiter pointed at the QR code on the wall and said “thats our menu” and left and my dad looked at it really close and said “Is this some kind of joke” 