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thinks DJ AM should have been buried in the morning......just sayin' 
Doesnt watch Dancing with the stars, or American Idol, for the same reason he doent eat or drink anything soy, because hes afraid to put toomuch estrogen in his system.
a recent survey showed .0025% of woman think about "x" during sex, in a similar study, "x" thinks about "x" 100% of the time during sex.
you look so beautiful.......GOD THIS THING SUCKS AT SARCASM
brushing his teeth and having so much fun, but he never lets the water run.
a little annoyed to see that they sell "Shamwows" at Costco and Zellers...all these years I believed they were NOT SOLD IN STORES!!!
wishing everyone a happy Friday eve!
luckily for some adults, illiteracy is not a crime.
finds it amusing when SUV drivers weave around to avoid potholes.
ways of making you talk....or I can whip you in the balls while ur laughing hysterically
says when my psychiatrist told me I was crazy, I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said, "Alright, you're ugly too." I guess I need to be careful what I ask for.
How many of the Lost cast does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it will take 20 episodes.
I was at a cash machine when an old lady walked up and asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her over.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
has a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Meetings today with my Life Coach, an Aroma Therapist and a licensed Joyologist. Then sitting down and reevaluating my E! True Hollywood Story.
is in the money!! I've just won $50,000 on the Nigerian Lottery (well after I've sent the £250 processing fee). Not a bad days work, especially as I never entered it in the first place!
asks if what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas....... then why did my new wife follow me home????
he can cook, clean, multitask, and definatly drive better then most of the woman he knows. 