Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I bought a race horse and named it "my face" just so I can hear women shouting "come on my face!"
←Rate | 04-13-2011 11:20 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Just Drove Like Six Miles With My Left Turn Signal On...Yep I'm Officially Old!  ☹
←Rate | 04-13-2011 10:52 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When trying on pants, even the most vile curse words very rarely make the pants change their mind and fit comfortably.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 09:31 by manduh Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop with a drug sniffing dog said to me "This dog tells me you're on drugs." I said "I'm on drugs? You're the one talking to dogs
←Rate | 04-13-2011 09:12 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching a cooking show full of dumb hosts and arrogant chefs. Yes, I think they should all try the smelly sauerkraut water - and choke to death.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 09:11 by mtravica Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, yeah. It's Hump Day, but get off my leg, please. I don't like you that much.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 08:40 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbour forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 07:32 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you wish someone Happy Birthday on facebook, only to realize you posted someone else's name on their wall... Darn those fb birthday notifications!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 07:29 by mmchet Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the past 20 years I've been trying to figure out how to "Stop" Collaborate" and "Listen"
←Rate | 04-13-2011 05:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so out of shape, I threw my back out taking a poop!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 05:39 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon needs to stop listening what people are telling him to do and start focusing on what he really wants in life..... pie!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 05:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sober ________ and Drunk _________ don't talk. Someone please fill me about last night.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 03:43 by Andre\' Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate those stupid orange juice commercials that make it seem like no matter what happens throughout the day as long as you have some "orange juice" it'll be okay.....
←Rate | 04-13-2011 01:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 23:52 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had this crazy dream that I was on facebook writing about how I hate my insomnia. Oh wait (posted at 2am)
←Rate | 04-12-2011 23:35 by ptv Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have to constantly remind myself of the fact that life is too short to waste it on getting mad at idiots
←Rate | 04-12-2011 23:29 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon ❒Taken ❒Single ✔ Dont care anymore
←Rate | 04-12-2011 23:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 23:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 23:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't hate you, I never could. I don't regret meeting you, I never will. But I do regret our relationship. It destroyed our friendship!
←Rate | 04-12-2011 22:56 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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