Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I only came here to do two things, kick some ass and drink some beer. Looks like we're almost outta beer.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 13:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Wow, this place is so clean! I could literally eat off the floor!" - my dog at every place she's ever been.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 13:17 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Have a nice day".. "Dont tell me what to do"
←Rate | 04-26-2011 13:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i hate when I wake up in the morning and Barack Obama is my president
←Rate | 04-26-2011 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon looking forward to showering with his brand-new "William-and-Kate-Royal-Wedding-Marketing-Hype-Souvenir-Soap-on-a-Rope".
←Rate | 04-26-2011 12:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What you call hoarding, I call forgetting to take out the garbage for 278 consecutive weeks.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 12:27 by Seddy90 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who brag they have haters are doing their so called haters a favor by making you look more of a douchebag than you already are.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 12:26 by H82R Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear man at the gas station, I admire how your mustache begins with your nose hairs.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 12:16 by Phire Comments (0)  


   messageicon If, at any point, you stopped for Hammer Time, I think it is now safe to restart.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 12:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
←Rate | 04-26-2011 11:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Todays Thing To Do: Make a To-Do list.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 11:23 by J. BIAZA Comments (0)  


   messageicon walking by the gas price sign at the Gas station and remembers the day when he could afford to drive to the gas station for his slushy
←Rate | 04-26-2011 11:09 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon About 50% of the time “good luck” really means “efff you.”
←Rate | 04-26-2011 10:48 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
←Rate | 04-26-2011 10:32 by ItzSergio Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some shit for Farmville.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw an article on yahoo that said "Little unknown facts about the Royal Wedding". I have a little unknown fact for you yahoo, no one gives a shit about the Royal Wedding.
←Rate | 04-26-2011 10:10 by Brent Comments (0)  


   messageicon if a bra is an "over the shoulder boulder holder" then what would you call men's underwear? Under the butt nut hut?
←Rate | 04-26-2011 10:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm trying to see things from your point of view But I can't stick my head that far up my Ass
←Rate | 04-26-2011 09:42 by Statouch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Face it. We're all just a tank of gas away from government cheese
←Rate | 04-26-2011 09:31 by charlied1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good Morning! I've survived to live yet another day in this beautiful world.. Dont take candy from strangers and remember ,Never trust a person with dry hands coming out of a bathroom !
←Rate | 04-26-2011 09:05 by Madison Comments (0)  



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