Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   It's sad to see that two close people don't recognize each other anymore. Not because they grew up but because they grew apart.

   I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

   A stranger stabs you in the front. A boyfriend stabs you in the heart. An enemy stabs you in the back but real friends don't carry knives.

   "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

   I blame Survivor for my inability to put out a tiki torch without saying, "the tribe has spoken."

   Roses are red, violets are blue... I have a gun so get in the van.

   Not looking forward to the end of the world sat..should be on a monday..

   running for the phone charger like it's the end of the world

   I wonder if Rapper M-Bone is teaching Jesus how to Dougie!!

   instead of that daylight savings crap why dont we just move the clock ahead an hour every friday at noon so we get outta work early , then on sunday move the clock back an hour at like 3AM so we can sleep that extra hour .

   Just killed a spider in kitchen and I'm leaving it there dead on the floor , just so all the rest can see what will happen to them .

   Someone questioned: "Y do we need a lover when there are so many around to love us?" A wise man answered: "As air is everywhere but we still need a fan to feel it!" :)

   i thought it was going to take us a couple of days to take down libya! what happened?

   There are only 2 types of honest people in this world, small children & drunk people

   I dont think of myself as a dumb person. I think of myself as a smart blonde.

   I better get to sleep. I have to get up early to call in sick to work..

   The slogan "America runs on Dunkin'" pretty much sums up where we are as a country.

   Why cant the apocalypse be sunday I have so much crap to do saturday..!!!!

   I want to be a pharmacist. Just so I can yell "Now take your suppositories and shove'em straight up your a$$!"

   To the makers of fruitroll-ups: when I enjoy your deliciousness, I mess up the touchscreen on my smartphone. Work on that please...