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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Someone gave me a CD rack yesterday, which would have been an awesome gift if this was 1994.
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06-25-2011 11:37 by
Marshall the Great
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I think facebook must put an option that requires a person to get permission first before tagging anyone in pics and notes..
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06-25-2011 11:34
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Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea...if you add commas.
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06-25-2011 11:31 by
BHams
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When your wife is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?”... don't answer.
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06-25-2011 11:25 by
Marshall the Great
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Nothing says "screw work, and screw personal hygiene" quite like last night's bar stamp on my hand.
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06-25-2011 11:22 by
Marshall the Great
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Everyone talks about finding the one that makes their heart skip a beat. Personally, I'm not looking to develop a heart problem.
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06-25-2011 11:21 by
Marshall the Great
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whenever someone annoying starts talking to me, I immediately start looking for an "X" I can click on them to make them go away.
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06-25-2011 11:15 by
Marshall the Great
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Gotta keep things interesting. I can turn doing laundry into a scene from an Indiana Jones movie.
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06-25-2011 11:14 by
Marshall the Great
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There are tons of open seats, so why does the one next to me always look so inviting to really weird people?
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06-25-2011 11:13 by
Marshall the Great
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I'm going to change my name on facebook to 'NOBODY' so that anytime I see any boring status I will 'LIKE' it. It'll say 'NOBODY LIKES THIS'
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06-25-2011 10:18 by
annoyed
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I guess I'll pick up my dog's poop this time since you're having a yardsale and all.
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06-25-2011 09:25 by
Bobo the Chimp
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the best sort of perfection in life, funnily enough, comes in the form of imperfection!
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06-25-2011 09:10
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Okay, technology is getting out of hand for me. I was looking through a pair binochulars this morning and when I finished I looked for the button to turn them off.
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06-25-2011 09:09 by
K-Mac
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If you say your grandpa is looking down at you and smiling I'm just going to assume you also have one of those mean drunken roof grandpas.
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06-25-2011 07:57 by
Bobo the Chimp
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Not sure what's going on. C-3PO and R2-D2 just abruptly took off in a cruiser and said they were headed to New York.
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06-25-2011 07:41 by
Luke Skywalker
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What do you call a woman who doesn't think she belongs in the kitchen? Divorced.
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06-25-2011 01:18
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My wife says "Its uncomfortable going to the new OB. My legs are wide open 3 min after we meet." I said, So do 99% of the girls on Craigslist.
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06-25-2011 00:59 by
@demiroquai
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The only people happier than NY gays tonight are NY divorce lawyers..........
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06-25-2011 00:21 by
sully
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Yay NY!!! Now, if the gays could only legally smoke pot at their wedding...
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06-25-2011 00:07
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If Facebook would have been a college...i would have got a certificate for full attendance
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06-24-2011 23:43 by
darsh_7
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