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Ladies; don't judge a man on some sh*t that you heard about his past. If you wasn't in it then it's none of your business.
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08-15-2011 12:20 by
NO BODY
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Some idiot just bought MySpace for 35 million. Now looks like the ideal time to sell my dusty old CD towers for 9 million dollars.
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08-15-2011 10:48 by
Doc Noland
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Look out. The first song I heard today was Eye Of The Tiger. It scored my "looking for my car keys and wallet" montage.
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08-15-2011 10:45 by
Doc Noland
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Dear Tampax... a few thoughts.. World peace.. Vibrating tampons... you're welcome.
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08-15-2011 10:26 by
Kent S.
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I wish I could commute to work by roller-coaster....
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08-15-2011 10:22 by
Grifter
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I wonder if Busta Rhymes texts with no spaces...
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08-15-2011 10:22 by
Daheavy1
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This really works, 1 hold your breath for one hour. 2 die
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08-15-2011 10:05
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Whenever a bird poops on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I'm capable of!
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08-15-2011 05:56 by
flinnie
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I never eat in hospital cafeterias. I'm always afraid they'll try to poison me to amp up business.
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08-15-2011 05:55 by
flinnie
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Today, at Starbucks, when the lady asked for my name, I told her "Voldemort". When the guy called out the name for pick-up, he said, "VOL...uhhh...'He Who Must Not Be Named'".
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08-15-2011 05:55 by
flinnie
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Me and my girl roleplay in the bedroom, she pretends she's Catwoman and I pretend I love her
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08-15-2011 05:25
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Just called the police on my GF, not for a crime, I just want them to remind her she has the right to remain silent
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08-15-2011 05:18
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The most best things in life can't be seen or touched....at least that's what the restraining order says.
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08-15-2011 05:13
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I always seem to hurt the ones I love the most. Probably because I've got a huge d*ck.
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08-15-2011 05:10 | Tags: Filtered
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I test girls by sending a text that says "I can't find my phone can you call it?" if she calls, its not gonna work out
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08-15-2011 05:00
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My ex hates my new girlfriend, but I mean, its not like she ever got along with her mom anyway.
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08-15-2011 03:41
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Why is it when deer decide to commit suicide they always choose my car as the weapon of choice!? :/
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08-15-2011 03:27 by
totalpackage
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I'm not into any sports. But I'll watch women's beach volleyball if it's on
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08-15-2011 03:25 by
Mike M
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I'm trying to rule the world, you want to own a lot of shoes. We're not on the same playing field.
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08-15-2011 03:21
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Just killed a bug with a bible...not sure what happens now.
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08-15-2011 03:17
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