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all restaurants are drive-thru if you drive hard enough
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08-26-2011 07:48
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I dare you to read the New Testament, except substitute every "Jesus" with "Pizza Hut" and tell me it isn't the greatest business plan ever.
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08-26-2011 07:45
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I just took the garbage out. In 3D.
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08-26-2011 07:41
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And on Friday God created alcohol, and Adam was happy! It had been a long first week with Eve
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08-26-2011 07:37 by
@iTechnoBoy
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Some day, I will meet a woman who loves me for who I am and supports all my dreams. And I'll think, "Something must be wrong with this one."
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08-26-2011 07:35
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If you survived a shark attack, nice job, @#!*% . You just missed out on the coolest way to die.
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08-26-2011 07:31
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"I didn't know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book"
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08-26-2011 07:24
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Wedding Rings... The world's smallest handcuffs!
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08-26-2011 07:17
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SON: Dad, Can I go to a 50cent Concert? DAD: Here's $1. Take your sister too
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08-26-2011 07:17
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Let's make fake tan orange people an official race so we can discriminate against them properly.
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08-26-2011 07:10
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?
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08-26-2011 07:06
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WORD OF THE DAY: OBAMA. As in: I bought a 12 pack of beer and drank it OBAMA self.
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08-26-2011 06:59
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There's a limited amount of people whose feelings I care for. The rest of you all can go to a therapist for that.
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08-26-2011 06:36 by
BAD GUY
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Women should "learn to close softly the doors to rooms they will not be coming back to.”
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08-26-2011 06:35
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I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
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08-26-2011 05:28
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To the man who said money can't buy real happiness..... you just didn't know where to shop dude....!
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08-26-2011 05:10 by
dickward
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girls with flat chests and guys with hips deserve each other.......its only fair.
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08-26-2011 04:50
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Females that utter males terms such as "Suck My D*ck" will NEVER get married.
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08-26-2011 02:51
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Today I met a FOOL who has both, his girlfriend and her mother as friends on his Facebook.
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08-26-2011 02:33
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Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
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08-26-2011 01:29
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