Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Son told me last night if I watched one more episode of Glee he was pulling my "Man" card!! I said whats a "Man" card? He says, something that you no longer have.... Kids these days,,,,,,,
←Rate | 10-18-2011 06:05 by Peter Gillespie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those crazy five seconds when you stand up too fast and you go blind or get extremely dizzy
←Rate | 10-18-2011 04:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're not gonna be in a relationship very long if you can't keep YOUR relationship business to yourself.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 04:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't ever send me to the store for you if you expect to get your change back.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 04:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a woman doesn't cry over you anymore, it means another man is making her smile.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 03:22 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's face it ladies, if men walked around with b0ners you'd stare at them too.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 01:58 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear ladies: We are not that hard to find. We are in the friend zone, right where you left us. Sincerely, The nice guys.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 01:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do ladies spend so much anger on The Other Woman? They should really be more infuriated with their cheating lover.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 01:53 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Epic Fail # ur on a date and think you guys are having a moment and move in for the kiss and all you here from here mouth is...what are you doing?...lol
←Rate | 10-18-2011 01:45 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My "In case of emergency number" is the liquor store down the street!!
←Rate | 10-18-2011 00:16 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon So now I hear that the world is supposed to end on 21 Oct 2011. There's a greater chance of me growing purple hair, blue teeth and a unicorn horn along with pooping rainbows before I believe that rubbish!
←Rate | 10-17-2011 23:10 by ashley j Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's nice when someone can reply to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of just getting offended.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 22:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why to guys who wear skinny jeans still hit on girls? They're already in their pants.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 22:38 by ff11241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come when people fill out applications, under "Emergency Contact," nobody ever puts "911"?
←Rate | 10-17-2011 22:34 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women are like condoms; if they're not on your d!ck, they're in your wallet.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 22:03 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Realizing that you aren't that smart after all is a sign of maturity.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 21:55 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can never think of any changes or improvements to your essay until AFTER you print it out.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 21:51 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon - There was a woman outside WalMart with a box of kittens. She asked me if I wanted one. I of course told her that I had kitten for breakfast. She called me a big jerk. I told her they taste a lot like puppies. Thats when she really got mad....
←Rate | 10-17-2011 20:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That lonely moment when the only text message you get all day is from your cell phone company..
←Rate | 10-17-2011 20:35 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon BRB Means I'm not really going anywhere, but neither is this conversation..
←Rate | 10-17-2011 20:33 by BEGO Comments (0)  



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