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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Ladies, I can either play with your heart or with your boobs. Its your choice.
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10-04-2011 04:21
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We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
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10-04-2011 04:20
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Happy Couple = She does what she wants & He does what she wants.
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10-04-2011 04:15
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I tried to grow a weed plant before, it didn't turn out so good. Gardening wasn't my calling
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10-04-2011 04:13
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Do you believe in hate at first site? Well it exists.
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10-04-2011 04:11
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wondering why Tarzan doesnt have a beard?
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10-04-2011 03:45
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I hate it when you finally fall in love & your girlfriend's all "Who are you? Put down my dog. I'm calling the police."
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10-04-2011 01:56 by
Doc Noland
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Having relationship problems? replace the 'ight' in 'fight' with 'uck'. problem solved.
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10-04-2011 00:21 by
kaye
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going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn't care
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10-03-2011 23:49
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In my day a mouse pad was a place rodents lived, a cursor was someone you avoided, and if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy you sure never told anyone.
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10-03-2011 23:17 by
srpdrzman
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Baseball World Records: Most Home Runs: Barry Bonds RBI's: Hank Aaron Career Batting Streak: Joe DiMaggio Most Innings Pitched: Cy Young Hit In The Face With The Most Balls: Justin Bieber
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10-03-2011 22:36 by
Mick F
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I assume aliens love oral since they only abduct humans without teeth.
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10-03-2011 21:56
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I may be old but I got to see all the cool bands
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10-03-2011 21:53 by
Banjaxed
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If you know anyone who's mute and has a neck brace, ask them as many yes or no questions as possible.
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10-03-2011 21:27
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I've had 4 cups of coffee in the past hour and now I look like I have Parkinson's.
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10-03-2011 21:25
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I distrust camels and other things that can go a week without a drink.
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10-03-2011 21:23
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The cover of my book will be a sledge hammer about to crush a engagment ring! That, or a close-up of me in a fetal position sucking my thumb.
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10-03-2011 21:21 by
Doc Noland
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I'm so glad girls haven't figured out the power they wield just by greeting me with "Hey you."
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10-03-2011 21:15
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The first time sleeping over a girl's place is always awkward 'cause I have to explain who I am, how I got in, & why I'm crying...still single
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10-03-2011 21:14 by
Doc Noland
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I wonder if Jack Lalane was buried, cremated, or "juiced"?
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10-03-2011 21:13
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