Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I call em' blackish brown paper weights. You call them bananas.

   We use cuss words so much nowadays they have lost their meaning and occasional glory.

   OMG one of my jokes made it to the first page under the "rating" section! This reminds me of that one time I came in 3rd place in the 4th grade science fair...

   Rapper Soulja Boy was arrested on drug and weapons charges on Tuesday after a traffic stop in Georgia, police said. Now that's some good news for a change!!!

   I really, really, really enjoy watching people cry when they get sent home on X Factor. I smile everytime the tears fall.

   Genius is one of the many forms of insanity

   I'll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.

   From every setback, I make a major comeback.

   I wish bugs understood the concept of personal space

   Quit smoking by switching to sunflower seeds. Cured my smoking but now I have a strange desire to shit on newspaper.

   Black folks always run outta Gas because "E" means "Enough" to us.

   The more you care, the more you lose.

   middle finger to all the b!tches that had me and played me like a fool.

   It's funny how enemies stick around longer than friends do.

   If I choose you over my sleep, you better feel special.

   How can I "Live Like Theres No Tomorrow" if there are freaking rules and laws?

   "Sex is life"... I want you to make me immortal.

   Excuse me while I throw on this fake smile and plow through this sh*t one more day.

   I really hate people who say, "I know something about you but I cant tell you" Well, I know something about you too and its that you are an a$$hole.

   I think Fruit Loops are just Gay Cheerio's.