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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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seeing a women breast feeding is like seeing an eclipse, its rare, its beautiful... but what ever you do, dont stare at it...
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10-05-2011 11:54
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I didn't say it was the best sex I ever had,I said you did your best.
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10-05-2011 11:31
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You can't say 'Happiness' without saying 'Penis'
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10-05-2011 11:28 | Tags: Filtered
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What a tattoo on your face really means: "I've gone as far in society as I'd like to."
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10-05-2011 11:28 by
SuthernFukr
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Just curious, how many weeks can you wear the same pair of jeans before it's gross?
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10-05-2011 11:27 by
SuthernFukr
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At this point I view every photo of myself as a “before” photo.
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10-05-2011 11:25 by
SuthernFukr
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I washed my car today, just so the birds could have a clean place to $hit...
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10-05-2011 11:24
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Whenever I'm driving and I see a baby stroller in someones trash I always think. Oh boy... someone f***ed up.
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10-05-2011 11:24 by
SuthernFukr
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It's like, okay, we get it, I'm a terrible driver and I almost murdered you with my car. Can I go get ice cream now?
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10-05-2011 11:22 by
SuthernFukr
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The only time it's cool to yell “I have diarrhea!” is when you're playing Scrabble.
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10-05-2011 11:18 by
SuthernFukr
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It's amazing how a good a fat person can look... Once their skinny!
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10-05-2011 10:20 by
zman87
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If you voted for OBAMA to let people know your not a rascist, Then vote Republican to let people know your not an idiot !!!
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10-05-2011 10:13
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Amanda Knox had killer home coming in Seatle.
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10-05-2011 09:50
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God could've saved us a lot of time by just giving us one commandment. Thou shalt not enjoy thyself.
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10-05-2011 08:59
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I wish the mailman would come to my house at the same time as the garbage man so he could give my mail directly to him.
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10-05-2011 08:54
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These dating sites keep setting me up with weirdos, then I realized that they match you with people with similar interests.
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10-05-2011 08:45 by
K-Mac
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This guy I know has worse breath than my dog, and my dog can reach around and lick his own ass
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10-05-2011 08:28
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I woke up in the middle of the night & wrote 2 status ideas down on paper. I need help
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10-05-2011 06:01 by
flinnie
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I ate so much candy corn yesterday, I just pooped a candle
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10-05-2011 06:01 by
flinnie
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Since I can't get my illiterate coworker use spell check, I set his email signature to say "Sent from my phone, pardon any typos"
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10-05-2011 06:00 by
flinnie
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