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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Whenever I worry I've been wasting my time on FB, I cheer myself up by remembering I have never seen a Twilight movie.......
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11-18-2011 08:57 by
sully
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says If you're going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
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11-18-2011 08:45
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patiently waiting for the day when I need to set the alarm on my clock to wake up in the morning.
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11-18-2011 08:42 by
JackieM
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Notice seen outside a Church: Please do not leave your Purse/Watch/Handbag/Mobile/Girlfriend/Boyfriend unattended. Others may think it`s an answer to their prayers.
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11-18-2011 08:05
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As Ole Fred Sanford would say, "You big dummy".
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11-18-2011 05:00
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If you're going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
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11-18-2011 03:18
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changing seats on a bus may change your view... but not your destination
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11-18-2011 03:13
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Can't believe that Facebook won't let me set my relationship status to “in a relationship with myself”.
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11-18-2011 03:10
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Pretending you're the host of a cooking show, when you're home alone cooking.
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11-18-2011 03:06 by
@OMFG_Rel8able
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If you plan your own birthday party, you really don't have that much to celebrate.
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11-18-2011 01:08 by
Doc Noland
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My definition of clean living is mixing my Jack and Coke with my pinky since it's touched less gross stuff than my other fingers.
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11-18-2011 01:00 by
Doc Noland
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Oh lord, give me patience and inner peace because if you give me strength, I might just punch somebody in the face.
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11-18-2011 00:58
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No matter what mistakes I make in my life at least I won't be as pathetic as the guy who got eaten by a t-rex on the toilet in Jurassic Park
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11-18-2011 00:52 by
@BoyGotJokes
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I can keep a secret, its all the people I tell who cant.
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11-18-2011 00:48
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I should be sitting in prison right now on charges of arson. Luckily for me, the judge died last night in a 'mysterious' house fire.
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11-18-2011 00:46
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Ugly women with bad attitudes get on my damn nerves.
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11-18-2011 00:45
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Worst Passwords of 2011 : "kimswedding" ... Too short & not strong enough.
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11-18-2011 00:41
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Get rid of people that withdraw from your life and never deposit!
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11-18-2011 00:39
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I was dropped when I was little, into a pool of sexy.
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11-18-2011 00:37
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Like an abounded school I have no principals
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11-18-2011 00:19
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