Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4103 of 5594

   messageicon My dad still has the mind of a scientist. In a jar on the mantelpiece in his basement, right under the moose head.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one at work will question the handful of pills you are swallowing if you just say that it's what keeps you from murdering them all.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:26 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The House of Representatives should be replaced with a mix of carnies, some Wayans, a few Pilates teachers, & the Oakland A's.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Girls, when a boy pauses his video game to text you.. Marry him.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a note from Santa, said I was in the record books for being on his naughtly list for more than 40 consecutive years......... I guess he didn't appreciate my wish list as I got a return to sender with a LMAO attached......
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:23 by Peter Gillespie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:21 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people are like fast food…they never look as good in real life as they do on TV.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:20 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is like 1-ply toilet paper..I get the job done but I have no idea how.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:19 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Tommy Lee, Tom Jones, and Tommy Lee Jones ever get each other's mail?
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:17 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you have sex with someone for the first time you get an idea of what their ex liked
←Rate | 12-20-2011 20:09 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon This time of year makes me miss the two guys from the old Miller's Outpost commercials.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 18:21 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever there's a ping pong compatition on tv I secretely hope Tom Hanks shows up, paddle in hand, and just destroys everyone.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 17:39 by @OMG_Its_Matt Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're leaning on your left elbow arent you!
←Rate | 12-20-2011 16:48 by @OMG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that one Kim is gone, Kardashian can go too
←Rate | 12-20-2011 15:40 by Fat Alec Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry guys, Casey Anthony will eventually go to jail for stealing back her sports memorabilia at gunpoint. Let's just ride this out.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 15:01 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon With our lousy credit rating, next time we wanna buy a tank, Canada is gonna have to cosign.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 15:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon We don't have a chimney but I've assured my children that Santa and anyone else could easily sneak into our home at night.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 14:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The life expectancy of reindeer is 8-10 years. We can stop singing about Rudolph now.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 14:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left