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Christmas - when loved ones visit to celebrate someone born in a barn but complain that your sofabed's uncomfortable.
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12-25-2011 18:16 by
hihuggiehi
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Merry Christmas! Or as my grandma always says, "there are whispers coming from the poinsettia again."
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12-25-2011 18:15 by
hihuggiehi
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For Christmas I gave myself an obscene amount of vodka. I'm so thoughtful.
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12-25-2011 18:14 by
hihuggiehi
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having to grocery shop at Walgreens because everything else is closed :(
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12-25-2011 18:14 by
yeti
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Like if the T Mobile commercial gets your attention because you thought you heard "Walking in an Orgy Wonderland"!! Gets me every time!!
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12-25-2011 17:46 by
urboyblue
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Some people can't sleep because they suffer from insomnia. I can't sleep because I have an internet connection.
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12-25-2011 17:28
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so in the nativity scene...would Paris Hilton play the Virgin Mary or the cow?
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12-25-2011 17:24
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the only reason I enjoy Christmas is because it is the one time of the year that my habit of sitting in front of a dead tree, eating chocolates out of my socks, whilst waiting for a strange fat man to enter my house, is considered a normal event!
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12-25-2011 17:21
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I dont always drink tequila,but when I do,I get f**king beligerent...stay away from me my friends!
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12-25-2011 16:53 by
yeehaw
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"stepping on a frog"just isnt that funny at Christmas dinner at the in-laws.
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12-25-2011 16:20 by
fatbutt
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says Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I'm Confused :\
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12-25-2011 16:18 by
fatbutt
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The lump of coal I received this year was of exceptional quality, 9,326,423 years ago was a fine vintage year
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12-25-2011 16:10
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refusing to ride up Troy's bucket.
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12-25-2011 15:02
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just shot my eye out ..the sights must be off on my Red Ryder B.B. gun!
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12-25-2011 14:58 by
josh F
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2011's hot new toy is "Outsource-Me Elmo," which comes in an empty box as Elmo's job has now gone to a Muppet in Asia.
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12-25-2011 14:48 by
SuthernFukr
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Ever look around the room at your family and think to yourself "it's amazing I turned out as good as I did." Then realize you said it aloud?
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12-25-2011 14:45 by
SuthernFukr
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I hope everybody enjoys the new air guitar I sent them for Christmas.
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12-25-2011 14:42
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I guess my main gifts are in the garage or still at the pet store or something. This is the only rational explanation I can think of.
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12-25-2011 14:40 by
hihuggiehi
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If I was homeless, I'd play it smart. My sign would say "Will have sex with any woman for food." That way, both of my needs are satisfied.
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12-25-2011 14:30 by
@dj_soltrix
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the weighing scales are crying "b*tch please! I ain't going to lie and go lower"
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12-25-2011 13:33
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