Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Christmas - when loved ones visit to celebrate someone born in a barn but complain that your sofabed's uncomfortable.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:16 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Merry Christmas! Or as my grandma always says, "there are whispers coming from the poinsettia again."
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:15 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Christmas I gave myself an obscene amount of vodka. I'm so thoughtful.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:14 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon having to grocery shop at Walgreens because everything else is closed :(
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:14 by yeti Comments (0)  


   messageicon Like if the T Mobile commercial gets your attention because you thought you heard "Walking in an Orgy Wonderland"!! Gets me every time!!
←Rate | 12-25-2011 17:46 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people can't sleep because they suffer from insomnia. I can't sleep because I have an internet connection.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 17:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon so in the nativity scene...would Paris Hilton play the Virgin Mary or the cow?
←Rate | 12-25-2011 17:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only reason I enjoy Christmas is because it is the one time of the year that my habit of sitting in front of a dead tree, eating chocolates out of my socks, whilst waiting for a strange fat man to enter my house, is considered a normal event!
←Rate | 12-25-2011 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont always drink tequila,but when I do,I get f**king beligerent...stay away from me my friends!
←Rate | 12-25-2011 16:53 by yeehaw Comments (0)  


   messageicon "stepping on a frog"just isnt that funny at Christmas dinner at the in-laws.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 16:20 by fatbutt Comments (0)  


   messageicon says Square box. Round pizza. Triangle slices. I'm Confused :\
←Rate | 12-25-2011 16:18 by fatbutt Comments (0)  


   messageicon The lump of coal I received this year was of exceptional quality, 9,326,423 years ago was a fine vintage year
←Rate | 12-25-2011 16:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon refusing to ride up Troy's bucket.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 15:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just shot my eye out ..the sights must be off on my Red Ryder B.B. gun!
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:58 by josh F Comments (0)  


   messageicon 2011's hot new toy is "Outsource-Me Elmo," which comes in an empty box as Elmo's job has now gone to a Muppet in Asia.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever look around the room at your family and think to yourself "it's amazing I turned out as good as I did." Then realize you said it aloud?
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:45 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope everybody enjoys the new air guitar I sent them for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess my main gifts are in the garage or still at the pet store or something. This is the only rational explanation I can think of.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:40 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was homeless, I'd play it smart. My sign would say "Will have sex with any woman for food." That way, both of my needs are satisfied.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 14:30 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon the weighing scales are crying "b*tch please! I ain't going to lie and go lower"
←Rate | 12-25-2011 13:33 Comments (0)  



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