Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Behind every great man is a great woman telling him he's not as great as he thinks he is.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 10:10 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "My alarm clock probably thinks I have anger-management issues."
←Rate | 01-21-2012 09:48 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about living by myself is not having to explain a lot of things......a LOT of things.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 09:47 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Late fees make no sense. Charge me more money for not having enough money to pay you in the first place. Same with overdraft fees. I'm $2.00 short in my account (which means there is no money in there)......so take out $35.00 more.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 09:41 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, this morning has started out like a galloping golden retriever on a freshly waxed hardwood floor.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 08:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm giving you all the MTQ $ex Guarantee. I guarantee you all will have $ex tonight. It's just that it may not be with another person.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 08:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do I hate people that ask questions and answer them themselves? Yes, yes I do!!
←Rate | 01-21-2012 08:31 by Azza Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man who saved a 10 year old girl from being abducted claims to be an illegal immigrant. Great, now they're stealing Batman's job too.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 08:17 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon My pen!s is so polite, it stands up so girls have a place to sit down.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 06:07 by @Seddy90 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Google the terms SOPA an Chris Dodd and you will discover the true source of SOPA and a far over-reaching government..
←Rate | 01-21-2012 05:02 by sopa Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coming soon this decade, GREAT DEPRESSION 2. Starring the U.S. Citizens. Produced by NWO. Directed by "The Ones Who Run This Country". This event is rated EF for Everybody's F*cked.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 03:23 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you look at a Doritos chip closely at how much flavor is on it right before you eat it? The more flavor, the better.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 02:51 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge ... when I'm high.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 01:22 by amberleigh Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Can I use your phone to call my mom?” “Yeah, just hit redial…
←Rate | 01-20-2012 23:55 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon that annoying feeling that results from when I comment on someones status/pic and they dont respond but when the next person does..they write a novel response and yet still ignoring my comment and I'm stuck in between
←Rate | 01-20-2012 23:09 by Ash Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that" - Life
←Rate | 01-20-2012 22:32 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon My vegetarian friend could not understand why I brought a bottle of ketchup on our hiking trip. “In case we get lost.” He's slow. Tasty slow.
←Rate | 01-20-2012 22:31 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, Shark, Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him
←Rate | 01-20-2012 22:31 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just cooked vegetables on my Foreman Grill....is that even legal....I feel dirty..
←Rate | 01-20-2012 22:27 by @gnarleycharley Comments (0)  


   messageicon that moment of joy after feeling you've created the greatest status... then a half hour passes and your contemplating suicide since you have not a single like
←Rate | 01-20-2012 22:10 by paulwall Comments (0)  



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