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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Imodium AD: When you need to get your sh!t together.
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01-21-2012 14:56
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Do drugs!!" - Reverse psychology drug prevention program
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01-21-2012 14:53
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There is nothing worse than watching the new guy at Subway make your sandwich.
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01-21-2012 14:46
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College is just a clever marketing ploy by Starbucks and Red Bull
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01-21-2012 14:45
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I have 2 missed calls from my mother. I think it's safe to say that by now there's a rescue team out there looking for me.
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01-21-2012 14:42
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I used some Special Shampoo to increase the volume of my Hair. Now it's so loud I can't hear myself think.
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01-21-2012 14:41
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I just sent out my daily 6am text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I'm going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up."
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01-21-2012 14:35
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I feel I have an on and off relationship with clothes.
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01-21-2012 14:22 by
stalk_me
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In grade school it's called bullying but when you get older it's referred to as upper level management.
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01-21-2012 13:36 by
SuthernFukr
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It's too bad you can't punch someone's personality.
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01-21-2012 13:35 by
SuthernFukr
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Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
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01-21-2012 13:34 by
SuthernFukr
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HEY PEOPLE DRIVING IN SNOW, IF TRAFFIC'S REALLY BAD MAKE SURE YOU TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE ROAD AND TYPE IN A TWEET ABOUT IT, OK?
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01-21-2012 13:31 by
SuthernFukr
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My vet has more hair coming out of his ears than my dog. Pretty rad.
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01-21-2012 13:30 by
SuthernFukr
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Want to hurt someone's confidence? Shoot them with a gun.
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01-21-2012 13:24 by
SuthernFukr
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How much teenagers care about politics. Regular topic: lol wat? Presidential election: meh. Threaten the Internet: it's the most important thing ever.
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01-21-2012 13:22 by
Will
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snow!! where as..all lawns are created equal
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01-21-2012 13:04
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Sometimes I wish there was a 'Build-a-Girlfriend'.
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01-21-2012 12:57 by
fadolo
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As hard as DJ khaled trys I can never take him serious
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01-21-2012 12:53 by
JoN m
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Saturday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
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01-21-2012 12:41 by
paulwall
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marry the 1st girl who unhooks it for you! She hates to see you struggle
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01-21-2012 10:28 by
flipphonescott
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