Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Guy gets arrested for smuggling cocaine into America. Next week, another guy arrested for smuggling it out. Do they want the stuff or not?
←Rate | 03-29-2012 06:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop pulled me over and said "I need your license, I need your insurance and I need your registration!" I said "What about ME & my NEEDS!?"
←Rate | 03-29-2012 06:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I allowed to see the Hunger Games on a full stomach?
←Rate | 03-29-2012 01:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a Care Bear must be exhausting. How can anything care so much about everything? It's not possible!
←Rate | 03-29-2012 01:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to start an electric company called Grayskull so that millions of homes can be run by the power of Grayskull.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 01:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the point of having nice boobs if you're going to cover them up? Stop being so greedy and unbutton your shirt like I do.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 01:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only ghetto people go to a family party, complain about the food and STILL take 3 plates home.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 00:25 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon HoodTranslations101: "Sh*t just got real" = The situation has escalated to the highest point of seriousness & is no longer a laughin matter
←Rate | 03-29-2012 00:12 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are the winner of Friday's $500 million Mega Millions jackpot can receive the winnings in one lump sum, yearly installments, or one tank of gas.
←Rate | 03-29-2012 00:07 by Carolynn Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear M.Jordan please start making condoms. So these n*gas will start wearing them.....
←Rate | 03-28-2012 23:46 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ULTIMATE a-hole move would be if Bill gates bought every combination of the lotto. Only 176 million combos so he'd double his money unless there was additional winners.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 23:43 by tim wilkins Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I think of terrorism, I think of lynchings, dogs, bombings, assassinations, slavery, chain gangs, Jim crow..not poor Afghans villagers
←Rate | 03-28-2012 23:26 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wow! The economy is so bad people are even stealin from Dr.Suess now!
←Rate | 03-28-2012 22:51 by @Seanathon77 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least Whitney Houston died doing what she loved. Cocaine.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 22:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon most pirates get their eye patches just a little while after they get their hooks
←Rate | 03-28-2012 21:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it me or does the pope look like a super villian?
←Rate | 03-28-2012 21:36 by bfinest Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait for the next Micahel Bay movie, where he destroys a kids tv show,.....My Little Pony.....yeah now you girls don't think it's so funny lol
←Rate | 03-28-2012 21:33 by Nebulith Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your ass.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 21:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just tenderized the pork... now to put my pants back on and go start dinner.
←Rate | 03-28-2012 21:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon After reading your recent updates, I'm surprised that Facebook hasn't yet asked you, "Whatever's on your mind, could you keep it to yourself?"
←Rate | 03-28-2012 21:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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