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Photoshop is cool and those Instagram filters are pretty sweet but what are we gonna do about mirrors? 
what do you call a man who has everything and nothing at the same time? Married!
While most of you will be at the theaters watching The Avengers tonight I will be in the confines of my own home watch The Avengers XXX which is a slightly different version of The Avengers
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow
“and, so, that's where I'm at on the project, I couldn't have done it with out your input.” - How I end every conversation when the boss walks in and catches me goofing off with another employee.
Like my Great Grandmother always used to say,,,, 'Marry someone who will love you for your posts and not your profile banner.'
If I were rich I wouldn't be shaking this ketchup bottle so hard. :/
I'm not crazy. Sheldon's mom had me tested.
In high school I was voted most likely to travel back I'm time. By the class of 2025.
Loud music is cheaper than a psychiatrist..
I hate it when pedestrians get all up in my grill.
Lady GaGa was born this way 8======D
You win some, you booze some.
Women always say they can do whatever a man can do. I bet they can't tuck their balls between their legs.
You are limited by what you settle for.
I want to pick up a hitchhiker before I die. Not like right before I die, but you know.
After all the whinning and complaining about Obama... Is this the best the GOP has to offer?? PATHETIC! Get ready for another socialist 4 years, next time propose or attempt to compromise,
Water companies suggest reusing your bath water to help with the drought . I tried it , My cup of tea was f8@king awful ....... !!!
wish I had spidey powers...i would shoot a web from my ana! glan and build a house 