tomcall Funny Status Messages

   Recently the man who wrote the song "The Hokey Pokey" passed away at the age of 104. His last words were, "I can't believe that's what it's all about."

   Police in Texas seized thousands of ecstasy tablets with pictures of Obama's face on them. Drug dealers chose Obama because the pills make you feel hope and change and then send you off to a faraway place.

   A poll found that 55 percent of shoppers start their Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. The other 45 percent are men.

   This Friday, the offical Christmas tree was delivered to the White House. Unfortunately, the Secret Service had already let in three other trees that claimed they were on the list.

   AOL has announced that they're going to lay off one-third of their employees. On the bright side, it's AOL, so they're going to do it slowly and with frequent interruptions.

   Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro is reportedly a huge fan of President Obama and thinks he'd doing a great job. Boy, Obama hasn't had PR this good since the Rev. Wright was campaigning for him. Maybe he can get Gaddafi to say something nice too.

   According to a recent survey, 86 percent of people say that they have at least one annoying coworker. The remaining 14 percent don't realize that they are the annoying coworker.

   Kobe Bryant played last night for the Lakers against despite flu like symptoms. Apparently neither team was worried about H1N1 - it's Kobe, he never passes anything.

   I remember when vampires were scary, and not some twink with six-pack abs.

   The other day Pope Benedict named five new saints to the Catholic Church. Some, however, are questioning whether Obama deserved it.

   When someone is waiting for you to leave so they can take your parking spot: 1) Pretent to turn key. 2) Exit car. 3) Open hood and look frustrated.

   as nervous as a Christian scientist with appendicitis.