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"Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?"... Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job... "OK"... Number 7 will shock you..."You're hired" 
One hell of a Tuba lesson today. I nailed it.... [Anne Franks last diary entry]
Ummmm, yes,,, I need to return this Taylor Swift calendar.. After 4 dates, it fell apart and wrote a vicious song about me.
I enjoy long romantic scrolls on my phone.
*Turns on phone and responds to "Happy Thanksgiving" texts all day*... ~misses Thanksgiving dinner~
If only fans of celebrities, football, rock concerts etc would get as excited about racism, injustice, poverty, illegal wårs..man would be live in a better place
no really what are reindeer games ?
so is anybody in the bathroom,drinking wine out of a red solo cup, hiding from the family yet?
Led Zeppelin doesn't have to be your favorite band. But if they're not one of your top three, we shouldn't be friends. . .
Don't foget to set you scales back 10 pound this weekend!!!
I think I've gobbled up about as much as I can gobble on Turkey Day.
....... Well ... now that Thanksgiving is over ... I'm fed up ...
How did taking in refugees work for the native Americans? Dont ever forget that
Everything gets stolen this Friday, because it's Black Friday
“It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.” ― Bertrand Russell
Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy sh*t we don't need
The Pilgrims were refugees and the Native Americans took them in, fed them and helped them, don't ever forget
Adulthood is just another word for 'liver damage'.
Don't forget to have a thought and a prayer for the poors when you buy your useless stuff this weekend
I don't know what it is But it's on sale! 