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The opening question of the VP Debate was basically if you were Kiefer Sutherland do you think you'd make a great Designated Survivor? 
Clown Lives Matter
You can teach a pet dog to go fetch your paper...a pet cat will teach you to go F@#K yourself.
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
I'm going to write a book of inspirational quotes & then I'm going to jump off a bridge because I want my readers to be thoroughly confused.
Don't stand up for the national anthem = USA hater. Don't stand up & pay taxes to support the national infrastructure = genius businessman?
Obama loves the Poor so much that he created Millions more.
Hillary: What kind of genius loses one billion dollars in one year? Answer: What kind of genius loses 6 billion dollars, 4 American Lives, A Laptop, 4 Cellphones, Three Tablets, & 33,000 emails all while serving as Secretary of State?
I hope the guy who stole my Debit Card enjoys his $12.69 shopping spree.
Got so bored at work today I actually started doing my job!!!
A true beer drinker never look at his beer as Half Empty .... He looks at it as Half way to his Next Beer ...
*shines flashlight under chin... 'And the phones were attached to the walls and didn't have cameras'.... *teenagers scream. Two pass out
I'm old enough to remember using the ash tray in cars for cigarette butts ..
I just apologized to a bug for killing it and I instantly became a Canadian citizen.
Frankly Auto-correct, I am getting tired of your shirt!
That moment when you want to hit on the bank teller but realize she'll see your bank account balance
Do I have to hear about these Clowns for 28 more days? O me bad make that 35 more days my math is not so good anymore.
If your in the grocery store with your new iphone 7 and pay with food stamps don't be surprised when I slap that phone out of your hand.
These robbers did not need guns, they could have threatened Kim K to put her clothes back on and she would have still fully cooperated.
Heard those ruthless and heartless thieves forced Kim K to put her clothes on first before robbing her. 