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711 stores are the real version of the Kwik-E-Mart from the Simpsons...true story, I saw Apu working just this morning. 
That's not a bald spot on top of my head! It's a solar panel for my love machine ;-)
congrats to spain for winning the Triwizard Cup or whatever...
is So,.. Just in case all Hell does freeze over, What's your Number?"
It is now legal to carry concealed weapons in church in Louisiana. I'm thinking that confession just got a LOT more interesting.
cellphones always killin the mood. chick texted "your ducking sexy".. sigh. so I responded "your spelling makes me think your on quack"
wondering, Just how do I get in contact with Paul the octopus during football season?
A good friend is like a computer. He ENTERS your life, SAVES you in his heart, FORMATS your problem, and never DELETES you from his MEMORY
My guinea pigs are smarter than you! :P
that Bud Light Lime has less calories, carbs & fat than 2% Milk...it's not looking good for milk right now.
There's nothing wrong with having sex with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
Scientists at Lake Tahoe are fighting off a clam invasion.. Or to use scientific terms, "Lilith Fair"
Sleeping is putting a restraining order against me, I have to pay for my dreams support.
wondering if I'll ever be mature enough to stop laughing at the word "duty".
I am the luckiest person in the world. Everyday I get a mail from Yahoo & MSN that I have won a lottery...
It's just another Maniac Monday, wish it was Sunday 'cause that's my fun day!
tired of reading statuses about octopus Paul. Bake him already!
I do not have attention deficit disorder. I have what you're saying is boring the sh*t out of me disorder.
The smaller the dog, the crazier the chick.
My life coach just benched me.
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