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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Just did a Google search for Gary Oldman.... for the love of God, don't forget the 'R".
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07-22-2015 10:53
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My 6 year old asked me what it was like to be married so I ignored him for a week and then yelled at him for something he did when he was 3.
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07-22-2015 10:53
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hospital is a place where they'll wake you up from sleep to give you a sleeping pill.
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07-22-2015 12:34
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Guys try too hard to sound intelligent on Facebook to impress a chick who's sleeping with a dude who can't even read
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07-22-2015 13:05
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You know who else says I'M FINE when they are clear not fine? Satan
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07-22-2015 13:24 by
Kisstopher707
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Today has been a very stressful day. So I'm pouring vodka over my salad instead of dressing because I'm trying to be healthy.
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07-22-2015 13:33
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Newest Facebook Relationship Status: Pre-divorce
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07-22-2015 14:45
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In the 50's things where better then they are today!...and oh yeah! you're an idiot
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07-22-2015 14:47
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saw myself naked in the mirror and now my hand isn't in the mood
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07-22-2015 15:03 by
Nipper
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So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
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07-22-2015 19:50 by
snotty
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Just showed up at Walmart in an outfit I bought at Target,,, People think I'm some kind of movie star.
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07-22-2015 21:11 by
snotty
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I thought AshleyMadison was the bakery that made Zingers... Didn't they used to sponsor Charlie Brown specials?
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07-22-2015 21:18 by
snotty
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Umm. . . Unless your muzlim, women in the USA had the right to vote in the 1920's
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07-23-2015 10:22
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Wonder which one of the Looney Toons is going to bang LeBrons mom on Space Jam 2?
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07-23-2015 11:07
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You know its good sex when she stars screaming some other guys name.
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07-23-2015 11:39 by
Jeff
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Well,,, According to WebMD, this burning is NOT an Eternal Flame.
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07-23-2015 15:03 by
snotty
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Just Donated blood..I hope whoever gets it likes wine. 🍷
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07-23-2015 16:06
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The only advantage of an old enemy is that they can distract you from the devilment of new ones.
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07-23-2015 17:12
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Hot singles in your area want to work out and eat healthy while you watch Netflix in your underwear .
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07-23-2015 19:07
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I never get caught because I've watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
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07-23-2015 19:24
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