Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'll never be the one to cast the first stone, but I'll sure as hell cast the second one.

   Congrats USA. Always one step behind Canada and one step closer to being Canada...now give up your guns...it's your destiny. [/Palpatine]

   Sure, my glass is half full. But my beer is half empty

   Same sex marriage...because everyone deserves to be miserable.

   Just enrolled in college to be divorce lawyer and become a millionaire since gay marriage is now legal

   It's a Great Day for Male Lesbians! Let's go eat some tacos and celebrate!!

   Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.

   Why does it look like some of my friends took their profile pic with an old Polaroid Camera?

   Breaking news: Police managed to floor Matt with no Sweat...

   In hindsight,, maybe I shouldn't have kept looking back . . .

   I've been to WI, I think that farmers only .com is being very generous with how many hit farmers daughters there are

   It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...

   Sòdømy is not marriage. Pórnögraphy is not art. Desires are not rights. At this point I feel ignorance shouls b bliss. In a few years expect a lot of traumatized babies whose dad's screw each other..gross

   If gay couple want to get married and be just as miserable as straight couples, let'em.

   How would there be a lot of confused babies whose dad's screwed each other? Did the Supreme Court overturn nature and allowed same-sex conception too?

   So only 9 people in supreme courts sit around and decide what's legal and what's not for the rest of over 500 million Americans? Yes I see how your democracy is very fair.

   Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?

   If you are Canadian and have used Maple Syrup as lube, can I get some pancakes with that?

   When did Facebook become Reading Rainbow?

   My sisters don't think "Joe's Bra Shop:We fix flats." is an appropriate way to answer the phone but the boys who call think I'm hilarious.