Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Wait come back, I didn't mean it when I was just being myself.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 13:45 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judge: You're sentenced to death. You'll be hung. Wife from the back: HE'S ALREADY HUNG. Me: Your Honor uncuff me so I can high five my wife
←Rate | 06-15-2015 13:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have tattoos for the same reason I don't have children -- I'm afraid if someone tells me they're ugly, I won't want them anymore.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Between Bruce (Caitlyn) Jenner and Rachel (NAACP) Dolezal I am now thoroughly convinced that I am a black woman trapped in a white mans body! Mmmmhmm! Hooooo Damn! Girl!
←Rate | 06-15-2015 14:06 by Douglas Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NAACP: Now with no artificial colors.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 14:33 by Wayne U Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 15:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't mess with me. I could accelerate global warming by a decade by releasing the methane trapped in my office chair.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 15:14 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching the same movie thats been on all week..."Complete Signal Loss"
←Rate | 06-15-2015 19:19 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men everywhere should appreciate Starbucks attempt to brainwash women into believing that grande means medium.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 19:52 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Atheist don't hate unicorns or fairys or leprechauns because you can't hate something that isn't real. Atheist hate God because He is real.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 20:37 Comments (6)  


   messageicon Cocaine so white it's head of the NAACP.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 21:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait NAACP: Now you're sayin that " Once you go b!ack,,, you CAN go back?"
←Rate | 06-15-2015 23:33 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Geesh calm down everbody... Maybe Rachel Dozel just considers herself a "incog-negro"
←Rate | 06-15-2015 23:53 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro Tip: Its easy to smuggle booze into work if you put it into your stomach first.
←Rate | 06-16-2015 08:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a blind man went to a silent movie ....
←Rate | 06-16-2015 08:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My hot neighbor put a fence around her pool so I bought a trampoline.
←Rate | 06-16-2015 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HER: You smell good...what are you wearing? ME: Weed.
←Rate | 06-16-2015 12:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The next “60’s” are closer than the last “60’s”.
←Rate | 06-16-2015 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Having watched the entire season of a show before me doesn't make you better than me, it makes you more unemployed than me
←Rate | 06-16-2015 13:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hole of an ass you are..." ~ Yoda probably
←Rate | 06-16-2015 13:57 Comments (0)  



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