Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Man: You look pretty today. Woman: Did I look bad yesterday? It was my hair wasn't it? You think I'm fat.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'd think the nerds on The Big Bang could fix that stupid elevator.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 15:07 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'd like to have another child one day. Two days, maximum.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon pro tip: go to men's warehouse. try on a suit. take a selfie. say the suit isnt what you want & give it back. you just got a free picture of you looking good in a nice suit.
←Rate | 06-04-2015 15:58 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Thanks FIFA for making me look like a boy scout!" - Tom Brady
←Rate | 06-04-2015 16:59 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so bad at Candy Crush that I just gave up and ate a bag of M&Ms.
←Rate | 06-05-2015 08:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sequel Idea: Fresh Prince of Bel Aire 2 - A privledged kid from Bel-Aire is sent to live in West Philly to be given a hard dose of reality. Starring Jaden Smith.
←Rate | 06-05-2015 10:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always thought the 4 words I never wanted to hear from my wife was "I want a divorce". Turns out its actually, "What is your password".
←Rate | 06-05-2015 10:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by "social drinker" you mean I like to drink instead of being social, then yes, I'm a social drinker.
←Rate | 06-05-2015 10:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry boss, can't come in today. National Donut Day is sacred to my people.
←Rate | 06-05-2015 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon started calling my truck Caitlin since it started having tranny problems
←Rate | 06-05-2015 16:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blowing a tranny means something completely different to an auto mechanic.
←Rate | 06-05-2015 17:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon National Doughnut Day - My Holey Day
←Rate | 06-05-2015 18:58 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, I wonder if Jerry Sandusky has room in his cell for Dennis Hastert?
←Rate | 06-05-2015 19:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First date. Her. "Shall we carve our names onto this tree" Me. "You brought a knife?"
←Rate | 06-05-2015 20:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Faffing: The excessive use of time for nonsense activities....Faffometer: A device or means for measuring the amount of time spent faffing around (as I am doing when writing this entry)
←Rate | 06-05-2015 21:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders which black athlete or rapper Caitlyn will end up dating? ♠️
←Rate | 06-05-2015 23:01 by Todd72113 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your selfie needs more paper bag.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 08:49 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner said that the wierdest thing about transforming into a woman is that he still likes watching football but he no longer really understands it.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 09:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "WTH, I can't seem to parallel park anymore" - Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner
←Rate | 06-06-2015 10:28 Comments (0)  



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