Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Be careful what you pray for: you just might get it. Kidding! Prayer doesn’t work. 
My current clothing style is a combination of "sh*t I'm late", "sh*t it's cold", with just a hint of "I'm too lazy to look socially acceptable for you losers".
Eve: I got an Apple... Adam:Ugh.. Eve: What?.. Adam: I thought we decided on Android?... Eve: The serpent said this was better.
Sure hope someone in the stands knows how to do the Heimlich maneuver today in Dallas because there are going to be a lot of Cowboys choking
It's not embarrassing that you're still writing 2014 on your checks... What you should be ashamed of, is that you still write checks.
Tony Romo should seriously consider committing a Felony, He would be a hell of a Quarterback in a Penal League somewhere I bet... Hell of a Wide Receiver too...
Stop blaming the holidays....you were fat in August!
My smart watch is capable of displaying porn but no one thought to include image stabilization.
Whenever someone asks if you're ticklish it doesn't matter if you say yes or no you're going to be touched. I tell them I have diarrhea.
Every time this gets a like an NFL ref gets kicked in the sack
It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there. That’s why I don’t go out there. I stay in here where it’s a man-eat-chocolate-cake world.
They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.
Well, it's 2015. Where's my robot girlfriend, nerds??
You know I got to thinkin about it and I have gotten outta bed 365 days a year for 26 years...... that is 9,490 sit-ups and not ONE ab to show for it....
"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time." Said the Malaysian shark.
So you'll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year... Your move Weight Watchers...
Not sure if I am getting older or if kids today are just getting retarded?....
There is a company called Kia and a company called Nokia. I’m not sure who to believe.
Love is when two intelligent minds come together and become dumb.
Love doesn't cost a thing but it can leave you bankrupt.
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
