Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Proposal idea: Pack the ring inside your car's airbag and then crash into a wall.

   I'm just gonna wait for the iPhone12 when Siri can extend her arms and hold me.

   Who me? Oh I'm just wondering how long it took Kim K to get all that oil off her ass

   UK's terror alert levels: 1. Oh we couldn't possibly 2. Blimey! 3. Call Jeeves!! 4. Bloody hell 5. *puts down teacup*

   Male camel toe? Dude that's just nuts.

   PRO TIP: Take the wrapper off the fortune cookie before you eat it.

   if you're sad about being single, especially with Christmas around the corner, just remember even Charles Manson found someone to marry him. So there's hope for you yet! Have a good day everybody!!

   Reports out of Buffalo are stating they are hiring fans to help shovel out Ralph Wilson Stadium. Hey, Goodell Ray Rice & AP are free!

   All my passwords are protected by amnesia...

   The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...

   Settle down Cross Fit. Settle down. I just wanna lift weights not snatch smart cars.

   Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.

   I'm rarely wrong, I mean mistaken.

   Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork.

   In a BMW manual the first page says "Drive like an a$$hole" and rest is just tips on how to bring up your BMW in every conversation.

   Helping someone set up a Facebook account is kind of like watching someone try meth for the 1st time.

   So did Queen Elsa put a spell on the Kingdom of Buffalo?

   Remember when someone had posted "who cares if we don't get to see polars Bears, cuz we didn't get to see dinosaurs?" I guess mother natures cares with this winter blast!

   I wonder what my dog named me?

   Buffalo residents be like....Every day I'm Shovelin.....(add music here)