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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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It's like my cat is the only one who understands me....... * Cat rolls her eyes
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09-13-2014 15:07 by
snotty
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Not a lot of people know this, but if you dress up like a pirate and go into Red Lobster, you eat for free.
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09-13-2014 15:08 by
snotty
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Why can't bakers count?
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09-13-2014 15:12 by
snotty
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The judge says oscar pistorius can't be found guilty of murder... That's very disturbing news... For my wife who's just gone to the toilet...
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09-13-2014 16:16 by
Imi
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If Will.I.Am's tombstone doesn't say "Will.I.Was", I will be very disappointed.
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09-13-2014 18:11
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I googled "white nfl players arrested", it showed me a black guy
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09-13-2014 18:58
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Hold up.. Spanking your kid can get you arrested??? If thats the case my mom should be on Death Row.. .
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09-13-2014 19:51 by
bryan j brown
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I Googled "white nfl players arrested" and it came back "Do you mean 'black nfl players arrested'?"
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09-14-2014 05:35
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Relationship Tip for men: When a woman says, "Correct me if I'm wrong but...."Don't do it!! It's a trap!! DO NOT, I repeat, do not correct that woman!!!
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09-14-2014 09:00
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You should never judge a person by how clean the inside of their microwave is.
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09-14-2014 11:45 by
Tommy Chevelle
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No man will ever look as deeply into my eyes like the surgeon at Lasik.
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09-14-2014 13:59
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nobody raised hell when I was a victim of domestic violenece....Tiger Woods
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09-14-2014 14:35
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I don't think I could ever stab someone... I mean lets be honest. I can barely get the straw through a Capri Sun
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09-14-2014 18:01 by
Huck
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Relationship status: Just got screamed at for peeling the carrots wrong.
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09-14-2014 18:01 by
snotty
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Studies say that self inflicted bow and arrow suicides are down 1000 % since 1755.
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09-14-2014 18:03 by
snotty
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I recently had a bad break up with Mari Juana. I am going to miss her.
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09-14-2014 19:30 by
JAB
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If TuPac and Biggie were still alive Kanye would be folding t-shirts at The Gap right now
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09-14-2014 22:04
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I'm going to switch my insurance from Geico to Allstate, then Statefarm, then back to Geico. If i'm correct, they should owe me $950.
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09-15-2014 05:15 by
andrew jackson
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How do I give this U2 album back?
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09-15-2014 08:35
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Anyone going to vegas? Put money on the Prison Football team to win it all!
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09-15-2014 08:49
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