Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Boy the way Led Zeppelin played, songs that debuted on MTVeeem, guys like us were getting laid. . . those were the days. . .

   Seriously, if someone else had been shot in Ferguson, you know Michael Brown would've been one of the looters.

   Forgive them father for they are not civilized or educated.

   After getting an astronomical quote from my mechanic, I am going to try the ABS challenge. That's where I drive my car without anti lock breaks, until someone donates for me to get it fixed!

   i am now doing my bucket list,until I kick the bucket challenge.

   I remember my first beer.....Ah, who I am kidding....I was too drunk to remember. Plus I was like 12 so...

   "What's in the box... WHAT'S IN THE BOX??!!!" Brad Pitt opening his wedding gifts.

   Dear Ladies We also have bouncy body parts, but you don't see us inserting wire into our underwear to keep them in place. Let em jiggle!

   Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person's confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.

   Relationship Status: After carefully weighing the options. Willing to give loneliness a try.

   Michael Jackson could do a very realistic Thriller video right now.

   I'm in it for the long run, as long as running isn't involved.

   Wedding cake…One last reminder of what it was like to shove something in her mouth.

   Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life

   I bet Hell has the same toilet paper as airports.

   I may be married to the sea, but I'm seeing 2 of the Great Lakes on the side,,, Yeah,, it's Erie how Superior they are.

   GOOD NEWS EVERYONE,,, Comedy Central has just secured the rights to show all of the NY JETS regular season.

   Dating site for overweight people: All you can meet.

   50 Cent OR Floyd Mayweather Jnr - Let see which side Justin Beaver will choose

   I hear 50 Cent and Floyd Mayweather are going to settle their feud in the ring. I'd actually pay to see that fight- I bet if I was lucky enough to catch one of 50 Cent's teeth I could sell it on eBay.