Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I see someone failed the 'Ice Chris Brown Challenge'...

   She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you're adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!

   I was going to do the Alzheimer's ice bucket challenge. But I keep forgetting.

   Sexy lingerie should NOT be available in XXL sizes.

   the nfl: knock a woman out - suspended 2 games... drink beer - suspended 4 games...

   I think Suge Knight pays someone to shoot him before the VMAs so he doesn't have to sit through them

   so for my ice bucket challenge I would like to nominate fumanya mutamba from northern africa. you have 24 hours or pay 100 dollars.

   I am an agnostic. I have no problem with any faith...unless that faith tries to impose laws on me based on their faith. Then we have a problem.

   When women wear makeup they're basically lying to us.

   If aliens ever attack, I hope they do it in rows of 8, going right and left directly above me. I’m very skilled at shooting aliens this way

   How about something colder than a bucket full of ice? Like a bucket full of your exes hearts.

   Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out.

   When two sets of boobs cross paths, the larger set has the right of way.

   Action movie villains should really go to the gun range to practice beforehand, because they always miss.

   Some of these people I wish would do their ALS Ice Bucket Challenge with a bucket that is a solid block of ice.

   I pledge to drink a bucket of wine to raise awareness for the earthquake that affected Napa wine country.

   all my teachers know computers....they used to code "C++" on my school papers

   I am currently taking the cold beer challenge.

   I think I'll open a lemonade stand, you know.. for those lemons that I collected through life. . .

   Two cannibals are eating a clown and one says to the other, does this taste funny to you. . .