Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I think I might have a natural immunity to Ebola. I get feverish, diarrhea and vomiting symptoms most Sunday mornings....

   Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight... Hoping to get a PS4 in return.

   Yeah... I may be old... But I'm still hot..... They just come in flashes now!

   My toenails taste different. Hope I'm not sick...

   Expensive jeans will NOT hide an expansive backside.

   Strangers can become best friends just as easy as best friends can become strangers.....

   People don't want to go outside when it is raining.. Scared your fake will wash off?

   I think states are over looking the Dr Kevorkian method. Enough said. . .

   Ladies, they're called "Skinny Jeans." Not "Makes You Skinny Jeans."

   SHARKNADO 2 took 18 days to film....credit to everyone... it totally looks like a 24 day shoot to me!!!

   I guess Obama will be putting up "No Ebola Zone" in school zones.

   There have been more sharknadoes under President Obama than any other President...

   A fire pole is just a stripper pole that grew up and got a real job.

   Was Sharknado made just so they could finish off a reel?

   I think at my age the next tattoo will be more responsible like a dragon across my back but doing his taxes.

   I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.

   There should be a law requiring you to explain what gluten is before you’re allowed to complain about it.

   The difference between love and lust is one letter: hotel vs. motel

   Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?

   Ice cream is clearly God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.